When? Soon... That's When...

Hello Madam, I am a pizza delivery guy and my investment in foreign currency just made me a multi-millionaire... so I pulled in the first driveway I saw when I got my tweet... I want you to have this pizza and can you drive a stick? The car is yours too... A limo is picking me up here...

So someone says, the iraqi dinar is revaluing tomorrow and that I should get some immediately, so I fly to the post office and get my order in the mail... 4 years later I am still waiting... but listen to me... the RV is tomorrow... Sell some eggs, donate some feathers to a pillow maker, whatever it takes, get some money and get an order for dinar in the mail before 5pm... It really is revaluing tomorrow... a hundred dollar investment is slated for a 4000% return... why am I so sure that this time is really it? My banker wiggled his eyebrows today... I have been banking there 8 years and this is the first time he ever EVER wiggled his eyebrows at me! My wife says she thinks he had an itchy nose but yeah right...itchy nose just as I happen to be making a deposit? Seriously, that coincidence is mathmatically astronomical... 

I got run over by a truck last night... That's 8... I am on my last one and still no Iraqi dinar RV... 

We need to escape before 5pm... Get to the post office and renew our layaway...just like we did last month before they recaptured us... You ask to see your lawyer and I fake being sick... when the guard unshackles us we get the drop on him... we hold him hostage long enough to get our envelope to dinar banker time stamped... and mailed... We need this to RV before the guard figures out we escape every month around this time and go to the post office... forming a pattern could ruin everything... Unless we can get him to buy dinar too... then maybe he will mail our layaway payments for us... It's either that or we give up and count what blessings we have ... like whatever that crap is they feed us...

It's getting harder and harder to be reptilian these days... we get blamed for everything... seems to me once the global currency reset makes us rich we should consider a species change operation... 

Hello this is Dinar Riches may I help you? Oh I'm sorry we sold our last dinar a minute ago but if you like we have some zimbabwe notes... 100 trillion for twenty dollars... word is they will be dropping 6 zeroes and multiplying by 22 cents... I think that translates to 22 million dollars... do I find this concept ludicrous? Well of course I do... but you sound horribly uneducated and drunk so you need to hurry we are almost out of Zimbabwe notes and after that... this once in a life time opportunity to live in a fantasy world will be up and your trailer will still be a trailer....

Bankers all over the world are falling from ledges to their deaths and investigators are saying why hurry the investigation...

why doesn't anyone I tell about the global currency reset believe me?

for the price of that coffee you could have been a millionaire... I just bought a million Vietnamese dong and when they revalue I am divorcing my husband, getting plastic surgery and partying like it's 1999... which by the way is the year I graduated college and started teaching... the last time I had an hour to myself I didn't have to grade papers... yep... rich over night... new life... new me... buying a Harley-- suck my exhaust I'm gone... I'll drop you a post card from Mexico... Me and my new 25 year old lesbian lover in Cancun... yep... I shall bequeath you my desk organizer... you really could use one... 

As your wealth manager I urge you to sell the Penthouse and get more dinar... Once it revalues you can buy the penthouse back... I mean come on... you haven't had a hit record since the 70s and a broke rock star is like a wealth manager with a broke rock star as a client... By the way I did your last line...